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Lost Practices:  Note-writing


Now that I have three children who consume my time, I’ve become very intent on finding low-cost and high-payoff methods. Or, in other words, efficiency. I’ve learned the hard way by wasting time with high-cost, low-payoff methods. Or, in other words, frustrations.

Consider my honeymoon. Laysa “let” me make all the decisions and arrangements, so I could surprise her when we got there. I think she just didn’t want to deal with planning it. But I worked really hard and spent a lot of time to find a place which looked pretty nice that we could afford. “Pretty nice,” of course, is subjective. It was the “King Arthur Suite” in this tacky group of Fairytale-themed cabins in the town of Big Bear Lake. I even splurged on the “Romance Package.” They scattered fake rose petals all over the room. My first clue that this place had sketchy written all over it should have been the costumes. (I won’t get into it.) It wasn’t until years later that Laysa let me know what a miserable time she had. I really thought we had fun! My best attempts result in pitiful failure. That’s what I mean by high-cost and low-payoff.

We were married for a couple years when I stumbled upon a low-cost, high-payoff activity.

I wrote a love note to Laysa. Nothing fancy. I was getting ready for school one morning, Laysa was still sleeping, we probably had a fight the night before or something, and I scribbled a note on a purple sheet of lined paper to tell her I loved her. I folded it, wrote her name on it, and left it on the kitchen table. All it took was maybe two and a half minutes to write. And a sheet of purple paper. She LOVED it. It made her day. I send her texts all the time, but this handwritten note was a completely different story.

There’s something about getting something handwritten. It seems to say, “You’re worth taking the time.” Think about the pleasure of getting a rare handwritten card in the mail. Well, rare for me, maybe more popular people get handwritten letters all the time.

So, with the knowledge that I could make my wife’s day by taking just a couple of minutes to write a note in the morning, I started making a habit of it. Not every day or anything crazy like that, but at least a couple times a month. On a good month.

Several years later, and she has saved every one.

Seriously, I find a couple whenever I clean out a drawer.

They mean that much to her. Though most of them say the same things, Laysa began to see my love for her in new and profound ways in these scraps of paper.

So, if there are any busy guys out there who want to show their wives that they love them without spending hardly any time or money, write her a note! And I’ve even learned that “hiding” the notes increases their value. I put “hiding” in quotes because she’s not going to be looking for it like an Easter Egg, so you have to put it somewhere you know she’s going to look. I’ll “hide” them in random places like in a cabinet or her purse or on the toilet (good reading material).

I guess if you’re a lady you could try it too. I don’t know why a dude would appreciate it any less. In fact, now that I’m thinking of it, I think I’d like it if Laysa would write me a note. Encourage her to do so if you run into her!

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